question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
