dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
