I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
