so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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