if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I need moral support for this bender
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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