i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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