I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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