Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
a search helicopter?!
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
