It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
