I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
