I wanna bring you to show and tell
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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