Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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