I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
