i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
