Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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