I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize