Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
