Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
