is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
