Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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