Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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