I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
