Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
