Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
