how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have fence marks all over my body
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
