WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
