Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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