I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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