nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
