can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
