I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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