I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
