Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
