would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
