Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My dick has a subreddit
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
