you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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