420 ftw
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
