i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize