I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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