Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
