This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
