I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize