oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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