who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize