Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
