week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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