turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
