So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
