That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
