Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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