My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
