Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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