We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
