Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dick very happy bro
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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