Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
