if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
