He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i dont even know how to be here
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
