She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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