How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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