I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Your cock deserves a montage
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
