she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
