Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize