something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
